Bunga orkid dan bunga kantan
Yang mana satu masuk laksa
Hidup ini banyak pilihan
Baik derita dari dipaksa
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Things That Most People Secretly Wish To Do But Will Only Do If They REALLY Know That Life Is REALLY Going To End One Day
1) Quit their dreary job and go travel the world on a shoestring budget
2) Quit their dreary job and start the costume jewellery making business they have dreamed
of having for the past 10 years
3) Quit their dreary job and become a freelance writer, disccovering the joys of making a living
out of doing something they really love
4) Quit their dreary job and start a business venture that they know deep down is feasible and
viable
5) Quit their dreary job and pursue the degree of music that they always wanted to pursue but
did not due to financial constraints in the past although this financial constraint is now a thing
of the past
6) Quit their dreary job and spend more time with the kids
7) Quit their dreary job and spend more time with their aging parents
8) Quit their dreary job and take time to watch the sunrise, smell the roses and have breakfast
by the sea
9) Quit their dreary job and stop worrying what other people would think
10) Quit their dreary job and for once, have a life.
2) Quit their dreary job and start the costume jewellery making business they have dreamed
of having for the past 10 years
3) Quit their dreary job and become a freelance writer, disccovering the joys of making a living
out of doing something they really love
4) Quit their dreary job and start a business venture that they know deep down is feasible and
viable
5) Quit their dreary job and pursue the degree of music that they always wanted to pursue but
did not due to financial constraints in the past although this financial constraint is now a thing
of the past
6) Quit their dreary job and spend more time with the kids
7) Quit their dreary job and spend more time with their aging parents
8) Quit their dreary job and take time to watch the sunrise, smell the roses and have breakfast
by the sea
9) Quit their dreary job and stop worrying what other people would think
10) Quit their dreary job and for once, have a life.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Some jokes from Joyce Meyer
The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by that time your body and your fat are really good friends.
The problem with living in a small town is that although you may not know what you are doing sometimes, someone else always does.
Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.
My friend mixed up her Valium and her birth control pills. She has 14 children, and she doesn't care.
http://www.joycemeyer.org
The problem with living in a small town is that although you may not know what you are doing sometimes, someone else always does.
Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.
My friend mixed up her Valium and her birth control pills. She has 14 children, and she doesn't care.
http://www.joycemeyer.org
Some things are just worth repeating
The only constant is change
Do what you love, and you'll never have to work for another day
Do what you love, and the money will eventually come
A mistake does not amount to failure as long as we learn from it
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration
The pie is always big enough to go around
The more we give, the more we receive
The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat
If you know where you are going, you will never have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning
When everything else fails, faith, passion and character will prevail
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom Proverbs 1:7
I can do all things through Christ who strenghens me Philippians 4:13
Do what you love, and you'll never have to work for another day
Do what you love, and the money will eventually come
A mistake does not amount to failure as long as we learn from it
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration
The pie is always big enough to go around
The more we give, the more we receive
The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat
If you know where you are going, you will never have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning
When everything else fails, faith, passion and character will prevail
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom Proverbs 1:7
I can do all things through Christ who strenghens me Philippians 4:13
Monday, June 9, 2008
Girls and diamonds
Diamonds. They're supposed to be a girl's best friend.
But ladies, have you ever had a best friend that you couldn't afford having?
Maybe she's high maintenance - lunch at Dome, shopping at Starhill and vacations at places whose names you could hardly pronounce versus your economy rice and regular hunts at Sungei Wang Plaza for couture-like fashion at, well, Sungei Wang prices.
So now, true friendship is supposed to be a give and take kind of relationship, where two people do their best to agree and meet in the middle - so if your association with each other is causing one of you damages i.e. holes in her Levi's pockets, then pretty obviously it will not last if there are no adjustments made.
Now back to diamonds and girls. So when, and how, did diamonds actually become a girl's best friend and not just a rich girl's best friend?
I tried looking up Wikipedia for the history of diamonds, trying to find out how they made it to this quasi-human status, like dogs. I know there's that song, but surely there must be something more to those shiny bling blings than a mere song singing praises for them?
But Wikipedia is just so slow tonight so I will look into myself in my attempt to get an answer..after all when you say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, a girl would probably have something to offer from her side of the equation.
So ah, I'm a girl, do I love diamonds?
Well...maybe not enough to consider them my best friend (Jesus is my best friend!), but when I made my first shiny purchase (no, not a non-stick wok) I couldn't wait to show it off and whenever I drove I struggled to keep my eyes on the road because the shine coming from my middle finger was just so distracting. Prettily distracting. The same happened at my second, and then third, and then fourth... so I do like them diamonds pretty much!
But I'm not a rich girl. I'm just a regular working babe. So how do I associate with diamonds (read: luxury)?
Let me count the ways..
1) Diamonds look good, and they make me look good too!
Ever notice why you enjoy hanging out with your close friends so much? Because somehow
you just feel good when you're around them. They bring out the best in you, and like the
wisdom goes, when you feel good, you look good.
2) Diamonds are flexible
When I am cash-strapped, they can come in smaller sizes and match my budget. Ever notice
how you are always ever so comfortable to make that occasional 'hey, I'm kinda broke this
month, let's go to that hawker stall' remark to your best friend? Because you know they will
never pout and sometimes they may even offer to buy you that expensive lunch!
3) Diamonds are so tough, they cut glass
Of course, sometimes your best friend may succumb to some emotional indulgence like any
girl (and men, too) would do. But have you ever noticed, how, in your weakest moments
she just takes over somehow and becomes the pillar of strength that helps you go through
whatever that needs going through? So maybe she can't cut glass, but I'm sure she can at
least kick some ass when the situation truly requires, like when a guy offends her enough.
4) Diamonds attract VIP treatment to me
Every time I walk into a diamond store, the sales people treat me like I have one million
bucks in my purse. They usher me to sit down and happily get me whichever items I want to
try on. Ever noticed how your best friend's parents make you feel whenever you visit her at
home? It's like walking on an invisible red carpet!
5) Diamonds last forever!
Well, no explanation necessary here.
True friends really are forever. Just like diamonds, a girl's best friend. Well, almost. :)
But ladies, have you ever had a best friend that you couldn't afford having?
Maybe she's high maintenance - lunch at Dome, shopping at Starhill and vacations at places whose names you could hardly pronounce versus your economy rice and regular hunts at Sungei Wang Plaza for couture-like fashion at, well, Sungei Wang prices.
So now, true friendship is supposed to be a give and take kind of relationship, where two people do their best to agree and meet in the middle - so if your association with each other is causing one of you damages i.e. holes in her Levi's pockets, then pretty obviously it will not last if there are no adjustments made.
Now back to diamonds and girls. So when, and how, did diamonds actually become a girl's best friend and not just a rich girl's best friend?
I tried looking up Wikipedia for the history of diamonds, trying to find out how they made it to this quasi-human status, like dogs. I know there's that song, but surely there must be something more to those shiny bling blings than a mere song singing praises for them?
But Wikipedia is just so slow tonight so I will look into myself in my attempt to get an answer..after all when you say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, a girl would probably have something to offer from her side of the equation.
So ah, I'm a girl, do I love diamonds?
Well...maybe not enough to consider them my best friend (Jesus is my best friend!), but when I made my first shiny purchase (no, not a non-stick wok) I couldn't wait to show it off and whenever I drove I struggled to keep my eyes on the road because the shine coming from my middle finger was just so distracting. Prettily distracting. The same happened at my second, and then third, and then fourth... so I do like them diamonds pretty much!
But I'm not a rich girl. I'm just a regular working babe. So how do I associate with diamonds (read: luxury)?
Let me count the ways..
1) Diamonds look good, and they make me look good too!
Ever notice why you enjoy hanging out with your close friends so much? Because somehow
you just feel good when you're around them. They bring out the best in you, and like the
wisdom goes, when you feel good, you look good.
2) Diamonds are flexible
When I am cash-strapped, they can come in smaller sizes and match my budget. Ever notice
how you are always ever so comfortable to make that occasional 'hey, I'm kinda broke this
month, let's go to that hawker stall' remark to your best friend? Because you know they will
never pout and sometimes they may even offer to buy you that expensive lunch!
3) Diamonds are so tough, they cut glass
Of course, sometimes your best friend may succumb to some emotional indulgence like any
girl (and men, too) would do. But have you ever noticed, how, in your weakest moments
she just takes over somehow and becomes the pillar of strength that helps you go through
whatever that needs going through? So maybe she can't cut glass, but I'm sure she can at
least kick some ass when the situation truly requires, like when a guy offends her enough.
4) Diamonds attract VIP treatment to me
Every time I walk into a diamond store, the sales people treat me like I have one million
bucks in my purse. They usher me to sit down and happily get me whichever items I want to
try on. Ever noticed how your best friend's parents make you feel whenever you visit her at
home? It's like walking on an invisible red carpet!
5) Diamonds last forever!
Well, no explanation necessary here.
True friends really are forever. Just like diamonds, a girl's best friend. Well, almost. :)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Dreams
What do you do when about a quarter of your life has already gone by and you are still living with that nagging feeling that somehow, somewhere, there is something else that should you be doing..
Something that has always been there at the back of your head, something that makes your heart jump whenever you think of it or hear about it, something that makes you feel like taking a step towards it on those rare days when you had that sudden surge of boldness. Or a sudden surge of pent-up frustration at your current status quo.
In short, that something has always been in you, it has never really died, it's just... there.
Are you, perhaps, an entrepreneur who is caught in the frustrating cycle of trying to find 'a job that fits'.. because everytime the entrepreneur in you tries to make himself heard, he is drowned by seemingly undisputable logic and realities.
"How do you survive without a steady paycheque when you have a car and house to pay off?"
"What if you spend time and resources and in the end the venture does not take off?" "What if.."
"It's too hard..." "The price of failure is just too high.."
Maybe you're a closet writer. You dream of seeing your bylines, of getting a book published, of the joys of interacting with your readers at a 'meet-the-author' session, the satisfaction of hearing them tell you how much they have enjoyed your creative labour of love.
Your high school teachers told you that you had it in you. You enjoyed writing your essays as much as they enjoyed marking them. Friends sought you out when they didn't know how to string a sentence together, and you were always more than happy to help them.
Fast forward into adulthood, after a few rejections from a few publishers you gave up and stopped working on book proposals so that you would have time to write job application letters.
But the writer in you never dies. And every now and then, he reminds you of his existence.
But your work commitments are just too heavy, you can't find the time, and you're not sure if you would want to leave the comfort zone that you have created over the years.
So you plod on in your daily existence.. and life is OK in general.. it's just that somehow you never become really immune to that nagging feeling, to that voice from deep within that keeps reminding you of that 'something else' that you should perhaps be doing...
Is there any comfort in knowing that you are most probably not alone in this sort of dilemma? The world is so structured, 'acceptable' mindsets so deeply ingrained and norms so powerful that individual dreams and callings are relegated to 'hobbies', 'part-time work', 'post-retirement plans'.. or worse, they remain just as they started.
As dreams.
Something that has always been there at the back of your head, something that makes your heart jump whenever you think of it or hear about it, something that makes you feel like taking a step towards it on those rare days when you had that sudden surge of boldness. Or a sudden surge of pent-up frustration at your current status quo.
In short, that something has always been in you, it has never really died, it's just... there.
Are you, perhaps, an entrepreneur who is caught in the frustrating cycle of trying to find 'a job that fits'.. because everytime the entrepreneur in you tries to make himself heard, he is drowned by seemingly undisputable logic and realities.
"How do you survive without a steady paycheque when you have a car and house to pay off?"
"What if you spend time and resources and in the end the venture does not take off?" "What if.."
"It's too hard..." "The price of failure is just too high.."
Maybe you're a closet writer. You dream of seeing your bylines, of getting a book published, of the joys of interacting with your readers at a 'meet-the-author' session, the satisfaction of hearing them tell you how much they have enjoyed your creative labour of love.
Your high school teachers told you that you had it in you. You enjoyed writing your essays as much as they enjoyed marking them. Friends sought you out when they didn't know how to string a sentence together, and you were always more than happy to help them.
Fast forward into adulthood, after a few rejections from a few publishers you gave up and stopped working on book proposals so that you would have time to write job application letters.
But the writer in you never dies. And every now and then, he reminds you of his existence.
But your work commitments are just too heavy, you can't find the time, and you're not sure if you would want to leave the comfort zone that you have created over the years.
So you plod on in your daily existence.. and life is OK in general.. it's just that somehow you never become really immune to that nagging feeling, to that voice from deep within that keeps reminding you of that 'something else' that you should perhaps be doing...
Is there any comfort in knowing that you are most probably not alone in this sort of dilemma? The world is so structured, 'acceptable' mindsets so deeply ingrained and norms so powerful that individual dreams and callings are relegated to 'hobbies', 'part-time work', 'post-retirement plans'.. or worse, they remain just as they started.
As dreams.
Friday, June 6, 2008
The Perpetual Dilemma..Revisited (Part 2)
The horizon loomed in the distance and IamOnlyHuman lightly marveled at the thought that so many people could be living in a world so vast and yet feel so trapped in their own little spheres of existence.
The curse of the comfort zone?
Is it really easier and safer to just moan and groan till the next Friday or vacation or till retirement arrives? And what next?
A few more years to live as you wish (if your health permits by then) till it is time to bid the world goodbye?
Are there really no alternatives to this?
Massaging his forehead, he let out a deep sigh and decided it was time for dinner. He quickly flicked the switch on again and watched the creases disappear from his Raoul shirt as he went through the pound and smooth, pound and smooth routine on the fabric till the shirt looked presentable enough for tomorrow.
Sometimes it was good to have more questions than answers, but for now, IamOnlyHuman wanted to attend to his most pressing need – deciding where to go to appease the rumblings from his stomach.
He neatly hung his shirt with the necktie he had picked, grabbed his keys and slammed the door behind him – and the horizon continued to loom in the distance.
(to be continued..the writer is still reckoning with her day job)
The curse of the comfort zone?
Is it really easier and safer to just moan and groan till the next Friday or vacation or till retirement arrives? And what next?
A few more years to live as you wish (if your health permits by then) till it is time to bid the world goodbye?
Are there really no alternatives to this?
Massaging his forehead, he let out a deep sigh and decided it was time for dinner. He quickly flicked the switch on again and watched the creases disappear from his Raoul shirt as he went through the pound and smooth, pound and smooth routine on the fabric till the shirt looked presentable enough for tomorrow.
Sometimes it was good to have more questions than answers, but for now, IamOnlyHuman wanted to attend to his most pressing need – deciding where to go to appease the rumblings from his stomach.
He neatly hung his shirt with the necktie he had picked, grabbed his keys and slammed the door behind him – and the horizon continued to loom in the distance.
(to be continued..the writer is still reckoning with her day job)
Why Me?
It was raining heavily the other night. I was pleased because that meant a cool night at home, curled up under cosy comforters with a good book and music running from my computer till my eyelids decided it was time to call it a day. Concrete walls filtered the roar of the thunder and rain, making it sound like a distant calamity from which I was sheltered so well, cocooned in the haven called home.
Why me?
The nasi lemak seller at the street corner outside had to be content with his makeshift stall, and at times the wind threatened to blow the flimsy plastic roof off. He had not anticipated the rain and storm and was therefore clad only in a thin T-shirt and pants. It must have been pretty cold out there for him.
And what about the homeless mentally-challenged woman I used to see wandering around the suburb where I live? Where would she be seeking shelter?
Down in the heart of Georgetown, the elderly trisha riders would be sleeping in their vehicles as for many of them, that was what they called their homes. They probably had to find some spot where the wind would not feel so harsh. What about those suffering from rheumatism, surely the chill and moisture in the air would aggravate their pain?
Why them, and not me?
I was having dinner the other day with my cousin. My aunt had prepared a sumptuous meal for us, and the portions were so big I found myself thinking of whom I should invite over. There were huge assam prawns, a baked eggplant to be savoured with authentic kampong-style sambal belacan, cuttlefish and hard-boiled eggs in hot and spicy sauce, stir-fried vegetables with a generous sprinkling of fresh tiny prawns, and a fried fresh water fish so huge, it had to be cut in two.
We did not manage to invite anyone over, and had such leftovers I decided to bring a lunchbox to work the next day. My generous uncle had also sent a 5 kg packet of rice over from his rice mill.
Why me?
One woman from the drought-stricken Hebei province in China wrote that the weather decided where from or how their next meal was going to come. More often than not, they reaped less than what they had sown.
Closer to home, under-privileged families from the squatter areas downtown make do with simple meals of mostly vegetables as meat would be too expensive. Their rice has to be rationed carefully to make it last as long as possible. One teenage girl shared that she only has two meals a day – there is no breakfast for her as she is not attending school, her siblings eat at school under the food subsidy program for the poor.
Why them, and not me?
Once, I was driving along the highway and the monotony caused my mind to drift. A stray dog appeared out of nowhere, running so fast across the highway that the shock instantly jolted me back to the present and sent me swerving violently to the right, all without checking to see if there was any other vehicle coming in my direction. Thankfully, there was not.
Why me?
P, a bright, attractive girl I met at the age of sixteen at a journalism workshop, was walking home one day when a reckless driver ran into her. She survived the accident, but lost her mobility and speech. That was when we were only twenty. The last I heard of her, she was still striving to recover and regain normalcy.
J, a girl from university was killed instantly when her car collided with an oncoming truck. She had simply gone off to run an errand during a break between classes. She was due to run for election for the student council, and still had a concert where she was due to perform.
Why them, and not me?
Two years ago, I went impulsive and decided to have my long hair cut off, telling the hairstylist I wanted it as short as Halle Berry’s. Shortly after, I bumped into Pastor’s wife and their 3-year-old daughter. The little girl pointed at me and said, “Jie jie”.
I joked that I was at least still recognizable as a female. The man I was seeing joked that people would think we were a gay couple, and I laughed – there was never a question as to my sexuality.
Why me?
S, a girl from primary and high school, had a crush on one of the cutest guys in school when we were in Standard Six. That was a pretty common thing at the onset of puberty – girls liking boys, boys liking girls.
But as she grew up, S physically developed to be rather boyish looking. Other girls had curves, but she was stocky. She was dark-skinned, and with her short hair people commonly mistook her for the opposite sex.
By the time we were about to finish high school, there were already rumours that she was engaged in a homosexual relationship. The last I heard of her, she became one of the few female candidates nationwide to be accepted into military training, but got expelled due to her alleged involvement in homosexuality.
G, one of my favourite lecturers back in college, looked like any heterosexual guy, but confessed to be a gay. But he would rather not share his past experiences with us, because recalling all the hurts and struggles he went through by being ‘abnormal’ was so painful, he would be driven to tears if he did so.
“Go play football and get over it,” his brother had told him when he tried to open up.
Why them, and not me?
Dad likes to remind us of where he came from.
“When I was dating your mom, my family was still living in an attap house with a leaking roof and muddy floors.”
My dad chopped firewood to help supplement the family income, and his other siblings sold the kuih my grandma made. My grandpa suffered from schizophrenia and was unable to work.
They grew up in poverty, with the additional stigma attached to having a father who was ‘crazy’ in the eyes of society. (He is one of the most loving grandfathers I have ever known, by the way.)
But they rose beyond their tough beginnings, and today I benefit from the fruits of my parents’ toil and labour.
Why me?
SN, an ex-colleague of mine, too, has a father who came from a disadvantaged background. But he never quite rose above his original circumstances, and my friend and her mother were the ones who had to toil to provide for the family.
He simply came home to demand for money and was abusive. They are now estranged, and at my friend’s wedding, her father was nowhere to be seen.
I do not know the extent of what she had gone through. One passing comment, though, gave me an insight.
We were talking about donating our organs if we died. She jokingly mentioned that she would donate anything except for her heart. Why, I asked.
“I do not want the recipient to feel the pain of what I had gone through.”
Why them, and not me?
Why was I born into privilege and others into poverty? Why do I have more than enough food on the table, when so many others are starving? Why do I get to choose the colour of the wall of my room, when there are people who have no choice but to bear with a roof that leaks when it rains?
In a world full of extremes, why do I keep finding myself on the better side when we are all basically the same?
I shake my head and feel pangs of emotions at the suffering of others.
But the person at the other end of the spectrum of life could have well been me.
Just as they have not done anything to deserve their lack, neither have I done anything to deserve what I have. But why do I keep having and there are still people who keep lacking?
I do not know why God has chosen to shower such grace, mercy and favour on me. One day I will get to thank Him face to face, and I will probably ask Him why.
In the meantime, I hope that the next time that limping beggar with the gaping wound on his leg approaches my table at my favourite eatery, I will remember the simple fact.
That the person at the other end of the spectrum of life – could have well been me.
Why me?
The nasi lemak seller at the street corner outside had to be content with his makeshift stall, and at times the wind threatened to blow the flimsy plastic roof off. He had not anticipated the rain and storm and was therefore clad only in a thin T-shirt and pants. It must have been pretty cold out there for him.
And what about the homeless mentally-challenged woman I used to see wandering around the suburb where I live? Where would she be seeking shelter?
Down in the heart of Georgetown, the elderly trisha riders would be sleeping in their vehicles as for many of them, that was what they called their homes. They probably had to find some spot where the wind would not feel so harsh. What about those suffering from rheumatism, surely the chill and moisture in the air would aggravate their pain?
Why them, and not me?
I was having dinner the other day with my cousin. My aunt had prepared a sumptuous meal for us, and the portions were so big I found myself thinking of whom I should invite over. There were huge assam prawns, a baked eggplant to be savoured with authentic kampong-style sambal belacan, cuttlefish and hard-boiled eggs in hot and spicy sauce, stir-fried vegetables with a generous sprinkling of fresh tiny prawns, and a fried fresh water fish so huge, it had to be cut in two.
We did not manage to invite anyone over, and had such leftovers I decided to bring a lunchbox to work the next day. My generous uncle had also sent a 5 kg packet of rice over from his rice mill.
Why me?
One woman from the drought-stricken Hebei province in China wrote that the weather decided where from or how their next meal was going to come. More often than not, they reaped less than what they had sown.
Closer to home, under-privileged families from the squatter areas downtown make do with simple meals of mostly vegetables as meat would be too expensive. Their rice has to be rationed carefully to make it last as long as possible. One teenage girl shared that she only has two meals a day – there is no breakfast for her as she is not attending school, her siblings eat at school under the food subsidy program for the poor.
Why them, and not me?
Once, I was driving along the highway and the monotony caused my mind to drift. A stray dog appeared out of nowhere, running so fast across the highway that the shock instantly jolted me back to the present and sent me swerving violently to the right, all without checking to see if there was any other vehicle coming in my direction. Thankfully, there was not.
Why me?
P, a bright, attractive girl I met at the age of sixteen at a journalism workshop, was walking home one day when a reckless driver ran into her. She survived the accident, but lost her mobility and speech. That was when we were only twenty. The last I heard of her, she was still striving to recover and regain normalcy.
J, a girl from university was killed instantly when her car collided with an oncoming truck. She had simply gone off to run an errand during a break between classes. She was due to run for election for the student council, and still had a concert where she was due to perform.
Why them, and not me?
Two years ago, I went impulsive and decided to have my long hair cut off, telling the hairstylist I wanted it as short as Halle Berry’s. Shortly after, I bumped into Pastor’s wife and their 3-year-old daughter. The little girl pointed at me and said, “Jie jie”.
I joked that I was at least still recognizable as a female. The man I was seeing joked that people would think we were a gay couple, and I laughed – there was never a question as to my sexuality.
Why me?
S, a girl from primary and high school, had a crush on one of the cutest guys in school when we were in Standard Six. That was a pretty common thing at the onset of puberty – girls liking boys, boys liking girls.
But as she grew up, S physically developed to be rather boyish looking. Other girls had curves, but she was stocky. She was dark-skinned, and with her short hair people commonly mistook her for the opposite sex.
By the time we were about to finish high school, there were already rumours that she was engaged in a homosexual relationship. The last I heard of her, she became one of the few female candidates nationwide to be accepted into military training, but got expelled due to her alleged involvement in homosexuality.
G, one of my favourite lecturers back in college, looked like any heterosexual guy, but confessed to be a gay. But he would rather not share his past experiences with us, because recalling all the hurts and struggles he went through by being ‘abnormal’ was so painful, he would be driven to tears if he did so.
“Go play football and get over it,” his brother had told him when he tried to open up.
Why them, and not me?
Dad likes to remind us of where he came from.
“When I was dating your mom, my family was still living in an attap house with a leaking roof and muddy floors.”
My dad chopped firewood to help supplement the family income, and his other siblings sold the kuih my grandma made. My grandpa suffered from schizophrenia and was unable to work.
They grew up in poverty, with the additional stigma attached to having a father who was ‘crazy’ in the eyes of society. (He is one of the most loving grandfathers I have ever known, by the way.)
But they rose beyond their tough beginnings, and today I benefit from the fruits of my parents’ toil and labour.
Why me?
SN, an ex-colleague of mine, too, has a father who came from a disadvantaged background. But he never quite rose above his original circumstances, and my friend and her mother were the ones who had to toil to provide for the family.
He simply came home to demand for money and was abusive. They are now estranged, and at my friend’s wedding, her father was nowhere to be seen.
I do not know the extent of what she had gone through. One passing comment, though, gave me an insight.
We were talking about donating our organs if we died. She jokingly mentioned that she would donate anything except for her heart. Why, I asked.
“I do not want the recipient to feel the pain of what I had gone through.”
Why them, and not me?
Why was I born into privilege and others into poverty? Why do I have more than enough food on the table, when so many others are starving? Why do I get to choose the colour of the wall of my room, when there are people who have no choice but to bear with a roof that leaks when it rains?
In a world full of extremes, why do I keep finding myself on the better side when we are all basically the same?
I shake my head and feel pangs of emotions at the suffering of others.
But the person at the other end of the spectrum of life could have well been me.
Just as they have not done anything to deserve their lack, neither have I done anything to deserve what I have. But why do I keep having and there are still people who keep lacking?
I do not know why God has chosen to shower such grace, mercy and favour on me. One day I will get to thank Him face to face, and I will probably ask Him why.
In the meantime, I hope that the next time that limping beggar with the gaping wound on his leg approaches my table at my favourite eatery, I will remember the simple fact.
That the person at the other end of the spectrum of life – could have well been me.
The Five C's?
How is Success Defined?
#1 Career or CHRIST?
Career – you love what you do, you are good at it, and you have probably been at it way longer than the time you spent in your mother’s womb.
But you have to work at keeping it, you need to please your bosses and customers, and for many of us our careers dictate our lives and the major decisions that we make.
CHRIST promises:
Freedom – free to be all you can be according to His blueprint for your life, free because you seek to please only Him, free because no matter where you go you know it is Jesus you are following therefore ultimately you can never go wrong.
#2 Condominium or CONFIDENCE?
Condominium – nice, classy unit in a nice, classy skyscraper you make your abode.
But you part with a huge chunk of your earnings per month to pay for it (unless you own the developing company or the banks that finance these guys) and there is still no guarantee that your condo would be there forever! (Remember Highland Towers, anyone? And have you bought a leasehold or freehold property?)
CONFIDENCE in Christ promises:
Certainty – knowing that there are things that belong to you that will not pass away. Like the dwelling that He has gone to prepare for you in heaven, and the eternal investment bank where your treasures will neither depreciate nor perish.
#3 Cash or CONTENTMENT?
Cash – who would say ‘no’ to this one? It lets you buy that Tag Heuer timepiece without interest-laden monthly installments, it can give you a comfortable retirement. Or at least, if you do not like your nose, with some cash you can still get that fixed (hopefully).
But what if the bank suddenly gets into trouble? Or no thanks to inflation, by the time you’re sixty the money you have is still not quite enough to take you to your dream destinations because AirAsia does not fly there. And your Tag gets stolen and your new nose melts like Michael Jackson’s.
CONTENTMENT with godliness promises:
Joy – the capacity to enjoy everything life has to offer regardless of circumstances, and how your nose looks. When you lack, you thank God because you know it helps you to appreciate abundance when it comes (and you know it will come because of the God in whom you trust). You are happy visiting relatives in Ulu Selangor although you really wanted to travel to the United States – because you know that ultimately, what matters most is not where you spend your vacations, but where you spend eternity.
#4 A flashy car or COMPASSION?
Car – guys, if you pull up the driveway of your date’s home in a gleaming Jaguar, I can almost guarantee that her heart will skip a beat (but I cannot guarantee that she will fall in love with you) and her dad would probably look up from his newspaper to peer at you from behind his glasses.
A nice car takes you from Point A to Point B very comfortably and stylishly, and the sound system is so good that you forget you’re sharing the road with noisy Mat Rempits. But it also contributes to mountain-high debts (for most people, at least), traffic jams and pollution.
COMPASSION – it has the power to take you into people’s lives where you really make a difference.
It took a little Macedonian lady to the dirty streets of Calcutta (now Kolkata). It took a princess from the gilded confines of Kensington Palace into the company of landmine victims in war-torn countries. It has taken countless missionaries from privileged countries to reach out to the poor and needy in the Third World.
And ultimately, it took Jesus, the Son of God to Calvary to die for our sins.
#5 Credit Card or CHARACTER?
Credit card – something which, I am sure, most of us flash more often than our National Registration Identification Card (I mean the IC). It’s nice to have – just one swipe and you have that Prada bag hanging on your arm. Hey, let’s worry about the bill later because that’s exactly when it’s coming – later.
And the best thing is, you can pay the bill even later than later, that is, if you do not mind paying the interest as well. If the amount you end up owing becomes a little bit too high, just refinance. You might even get a ‘free gift’ from the nice bank.
Life is great – till you have collected seven free mugs from refinancing, and are still closer to bankruptcy than becoming debt-free!
CHARACTER promises:
Strength – the strength to choose wisdom over compulsion so that you do not do something with long-term consequences which you will regret. It develops self-confidence because you know that you can trust yourself not to get into trouble in the face of temptations. And you do not give up in the face of discouragement.
And ultimately, it leads you to true success because a person with character will choose to walk in the Spirit even when it is much easier and more pleasurable to choose the works of the flesh.
So, which set of Five C’s do you think you want? Jesus says that if we choose the Godly C’s we will come to have the rest of the C’s as well.
Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (NKJV, Thomas Nelson).
A super-duper offer – that’s simply too good to resist.
#1 Career or CHRIST?
Career – you love what you do, you are good at it, and you have probably been at it way longer than the time you spent in your mother’s womb.
But you have to work at keeping it, you need to please your bosses and customers, and for many of us our careers dictate our lives and the major decisions that we make.
CHRIST promises:
Freedom – free to be all you can be according to His blueprint for your life, free because you seek to please only Him, free because no matter where you go you know it is Jesus you are following therefore ultimately you can never go wrong.
#2 Condominium or CONFIDENCE?
Condominium – nice, classy unit in a nice, classy skyscraper you make your abode.
But you part with a huge chunk of your earnings per month to pay for it (unless you own the developing company or the banks that finance these guys) and there is still no guarantee that your condo would be there forever! (Remember Highland Towers, anyone? And have you bought a leasehold or freehold property?)
CONFIDENCE in Christ promises:
Certainty – knowing that there are things that belong to you that will not pass away. Like the dwelling that He has gone to prepare for you in heaven, and the eternal investment bank where your treasures will neither depreciate nor perish.
#3 Cash or CONTENTMENT?
Cash – who would say ‘no’ to this one? It lets you buy that Tag Heuer timepiece without interest-laden monthly installments, it can give you a comfortable retirement. Or at least, if you do not like your nose, with some cash you can still get that fixed (hopefully).
But what if the bank suddenly gets into trouble? Or no thanks to inflation, by the time you’re sixty the money you have is still not quite enough to take you to your dream destinations because AirAsia does not fly there. And your Tag gets stolen and your new nose melts like Michael Jackson’s.
CONTENTMENT with godliness promises:
Joy – the capacity to enjoy everything life has to offer regardless of circumstances, and how your nose looks. When you lack, you thank God because you know it helps you to appreciate abundance when it comes (and you know it will come because of the God in whom you trust). You are happy visiting relatives in Ulu Selangor although you really wanted to travel to the United States – because you know that ultimately, what matters most is not where you spend your vacations, but where you spend eternity.
#4 A flashy car or COMPASSION?
Car – guys, if you pull up the driveway of your date’s home in a gleaming Jaguar, I can almost guarantee that her heart will skip a beat (but I cannot guarantee that she will fall in love with you) and her dad would probably look up from his newspaper to peer at you from behind his glasses.
A nice car takes you from Point A to Point B very comfortably and stylishly, and the sound system is so good that you forget you’re sharing the road with noisy Mat Rempits. But it also contributes to mountain-high debts (for most people, at least), traffic jams and pollution.
COMPASSION – it has the power to take you into people’s lives where you really make a difference.
It took a little Macedonian lady to the dirty streets of Calcutta (now Kolkata). It took a princess from the gilded confines of Kensington Palace into the company of landmine victims in war-torn countries. It has taken countless missionaries from privileged countries to reach out to the poor and needy in the Third World.
And ultimately, it took Jesus, the Son of God to Calvary to die for our sins.
#5 Credit Card or CHARACTER?
Credit card – something which, I am sure, most of us flash more often than our National Registration Identification Card (I mean the IC). It’s nice to have – just one swipe and you have that Prada bag hanging on your arm. Hey, let’s worry about the bill later because that’s exactly when it’s coming – later.
And the best thing is, you can pay the bill even later than later, that is, if you do not mind paying the interest as well. If the amount you end up owing becomes a little bit too high, just refinance. You might even get a ‘free gift’ from the nice bank.
Life is great – till you have collected seven free mugs from refinancing, and are still closer to bankruptcy than becoming debt-free!
CHARACTER promises:
Strength – the strength to choose wisdom over compulsion so that you do not do something with long-term consequences which you will regret. It develops self-confidence because you know that you can trust yourself not to get into trouble in the face of temptations. And you do not give up in the face of discouragement.
And ultimately, it leads you to true success because a person with character will choose to walk in the Spirit even when it is much easier and more pleasurable to choose the works of the flesh.
So, which set of Five C’s do you think you want? Jesus says that if we choose the Godly C’s we will come to have the rest of the C’s as well.
Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (NKJV, Thomas Nelson).
A super-duper offer – that’s simply too good to resist.
The Perpetual Dilemma..Revisited
IamOnlyHuman was not exactly a die-hard, joss stick-wielding fan of Siddharta Gautama, but this year he welcomed Wesak Day as much as any other Malaysian probably did.
Why? Because it fell on a Monday, and in multiracial and multireligious Malaysia, it meant that Wesak Day would be a public holiday.(I know you are not dumb, but I just needed this sentence to prevent my piece from sounding disjointed)
Ahh..the long weekend awaited. No Monday Blues to reckon with. No going to bed early on Sunday night, no choking yourself the next morning putting on your tie in a hurry, no smudging your lipstick trying to paint your face with your eyes half open.
But alas, Tuesday would arrive. It was inevitable. The sun began to set on Wesak Monday and IamOnlyHuman was positive that he could hear a collective, educated sigh coming from the white collar community around him.
As he picked up the iron to press his Raoul shirt (with a different necktie his colleagues wouldn't notice that he wore the same shirt last Tuesday), his heart almost as heavy as the hot metal in his hand, IamOnlyHuman lifted his eyes to the horizon before him (his room happened to face the sea) and felt a stirring in his very human heart.
"Surely there is something I can do about this.. to reclaim my humanity and get out of this rat race..." he thought, putting down the iron and having the presence of mind to turn off its switch before he sat down on his bed to ponder a little more.
(To be continued.. the writer still has a day job to reckon with)
Why? Because it fell on a Monday, and in multiracial and multireligious Malaysia, it meant that Wesak Day would be a public holiday.(I know you are not dumb, but I just needed this sentence to prevent my piece from sounding disjointed)
Ahh..the long weekend awaited. No Monday Blues to reckon with. No going to bed early on Sunday night, no choking yourself the next morning putting on your tie in a hurry, no smudging your lipstick trying to paint your face with your eyes half open.
But alas, Tuesday would arrive. It was inevitable. The sun began to set on Wesak Monday and IamOnlyHuman was positive that he could hear a collective, educated sigh coming from the white collar community around him.
As he picked up the iron to press his Raoul shirt (with a different necktie his colleagues wouldn't notice that he wore the same shirt last Tuesday), his heart almost as heavy as the hot metal in his hand, IamOnlyHuman lifted his eyes to the horizon before him (his room happened to face the sea) and felt a stirring in his very human heart.
"Surely there is something I can do about this.. to reclaim my humanity and get out of this rat race..." he thought, putting down the iron and having the presence of mind to turn off its switch before he sat down on his bed to ponder a little more.
(To be continued.. the writer still has a day job to reckon with)
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